Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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