In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
