i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
