I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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