Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
