I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
