my vag is so smooth its legendary
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
