Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
