Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
