: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
