Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
