I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
