I don't usually arrange sex via text message
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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