There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
