My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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