i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
