I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
