Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
