Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
