I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
