yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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