Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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