she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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