I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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