I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
