i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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