I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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