so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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