Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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