Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
