video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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