I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
