I am puke
My pussy is not your playground.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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