pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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