dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
