I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
