"it" just moved
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
