its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
