My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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