Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
