You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
