I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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