Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
