I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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