Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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