im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
