; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
