So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
