ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize