It's just like the Real World with babies
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
