come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
