so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
