and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
