I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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