she looked like the before picture.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
