Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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