if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so let's talk penis.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
