the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Mom said you looked used
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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