Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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