TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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