I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
