Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This is classic penis vs brain.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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