I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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