No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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